Elvis is OUT
CAConrad, deviant poet, passionate Elvis disciple, and enterprising vegetarian sin eater, is outing Elvis in a new essay on PhillySound. Entitled "The Purple Gang," the essay takes its name straight from the source - Elvis's "Jailhouse Rock" lyrics.
And this reminds me to share Conrad's recipe for ELVIS LICKING SAUCE, which unaccountably never made it into the book:
ELVIS LICKING SAUCE
Ingredients:
1/4 C chocolate syrup
1/4 C strawberry jam
1/4 stick of soy margarine
juice of 1/2 lemon
Beat all ingredients until smooth, place in refrigerator for at least an hour.
Take turns drawing pictures of Elvis on each other's naked bodies with sauce and licking it off.
THERE IS NO BETTER WAY to show your reverence for The King than to lick His delicious likeness off a lover's ass!
PLEASE NOTE
If you coat a penis with sauce please then refer to it as HOUND DOG GRAVY.
If you listen you can hear Elvis say:
THANK YOU, THANK YOU OH SO VERY MUCH!