Available now for pre-order. Order the book now, and it will ship out to you upon its publication in February, 2011.

A child’s life is full of both joys and challenges—the infinite wonder of learning, the literal and figurative scraped knees of everyday life, and, of course, deep, penetrating theological terror.

That’s why Pastor Brett of the Mega-Pheasant Heights Assembly Church has created an activity book that will divert those long lazy hours of idle youth into a soul-saving good time. Inside are crafty puzzles, mazes of wrath, and connect-the-dots! Also, the mysteries of God’s creation are revealed and explored, including, but not limited to: why God sometimes does not answer your prayers; why heterosexual monogamy is demanded of us; and why listening to scientists will end with your corporeal destruction and eternal damnation. You will learn the nature of other “religions” as well as how best to crush them. And then there will be juice boxes.

While tradition states that the path to heaven is paved by knowledge of scripture, the doing of good works, and the conversion of heathens, it has recently been revealed that no one can obtain their eternal reward without first obtaining a copy of The Intelligent Design Coloring Book!

Before joining the Mega-Pheasant Heights Assembly Church in 2010, Pastor Brett Pirkle headed up the Intelligent Design think tank at American Family Mission. A proponent of corporal punishment, he claims that the Holy Spirit channels God’s love into his fist before he corrects the evildoer. The jury did not see it this way.

SO MANY FAITHS

Though there are so many religions, there’s only one right one. And it’s ours. That doesn’t mean that we don’t have to respect other people’s religions. It just means they’re wrong and we need to teach them the truth. We must always remember to do this with humility. When the Intelligent Designer told everyone else how to live and said the only way to Truth was through Him, he was humble about it.

We hope this activity book will help increase your knowledge of our fascinating universe and reduce its complexity into simple, easy-to-understand answers that even a child with no education can appreciate.

Faith is available to everyone. Education isn’t.

Amen!

Pastor Brett